Working mother UK

That's not outsourcing - that's equality. ...

2009-09-24T23:08:27.503+01:00

That's not outsourcing - that's equality. I never set too much store on my children's firsts. Like in that scene in Erin Brockovich where she cries in the car because she misses her baby's first word. I remember being told weeks after the event that I missed by eldest's first wave, and the dear nanny didn't tell me because she thought I'd be upset. Frankly I was excited to know the child COULD wave - and fortunately, could imagine how she might do it. I've seen her wave plenty since the first time - and even though I missed the first time, it's still great fun.

Mums see lots of firsts - let dads see a few firsts here and there too say I!

We work full-time. Our lives are necessarily not ...

2009-09-22T13:43:19.897+01:00

We work full-time. Our lives are necessarily not centred wholly on our children and their schools and nor, therefore, on the school gate community. It doesn't mean we love our children or care about their education any less. It just means we have a different focus during the day while they are in school (and frankly not thinking much at all about us) and in the immediate after-school hours.

So when it comes to the big events, like their birthdays, Christmas, the school concert, family holidays, special events, we do want to be there with extra gold-plated bells on. We put in the big effort to make an impact and create a good, strong and loving memory of a special day or event -- in the hope that these will build a chain of memories and an inner sense that we were there with them all along, whether we were working or not.

Sometimes, just sometimes, work commitments clash with those special events -- we do our best to manage around, but sometimes they do clash.

And what I have learned this last year is that there is a special sub-community at the school gate (it's small and it doesn't hang around after drop-off so you need to look harder for it). It is the community of working mothers. And you know what -- they get it. They know you want to make the cake yourself and not buy it or have anyone else make it for you. So when one of them makes an offer to help out, it's with the understanding that you would rather do it yourself but she offers anyway just in case you need a helping hand right then. She offers because she cares about you, not because you care about you saying yes. And when you say "no thanks", she is pleased for you, because that is code for "I've got this one sorted!" She also offers because she knows that before long she's going to be overwhelmed with gratitude when you offer to do the goodie bags for her own child's party when she is locked into work commitments in Switzerland for two weeks leading up to her own child's party. And she just knows you're going to do it with extra gold-plated bells on.

The other mother

I agree that I find this research depressing. Too...

2009-09-10T22:08:05.831+01:00

I agree that I find this research depressing. Too many times, I have seen women refuse to mentor or help other women thinking, I got here on my own, you can do it too.

Women need to help other women (and men) be successful in the workplace. This is what true leadership or "being the boss" is all about. It is about recognising talent and nurturing it for success.

Authentic leaders understand this concept.

Late night laundry, eh! Found myself this morning...

2009-07-27T22:20:30.682+01:00

Late night laundry, eh! Found myself this morning learning the delights of early morning laundry too, combined with early morning cleaning the dishwasher. Ah, the delights of my post and pre work life!